2008 Woodie Awards
Rules, Rules, Rules
Mackenzie Kinler
Issue date: 3/2/05 Section: Opinion
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As a kid, I hated rules. Rules were bad. Rules were evil things created by grown-ups to hinder the freedoms of children. Take the 'no running in the hall' rule. No running in the hall? That rule was clearly made up by out of shape adults who couldn't keep up with their children.
As an adult I still have a knack for disreguarding the rules. Last week, while deeply emerged in a tickle fight with my fiancee, I sprinted down the corridor of Schubert Heights toward my friend's apartment to escape Ryan's eager fingers. As I approached my destination I literally tripped over my own feet, sailed into a Matrix-like spin and ascended head first into a doorknob. Ouch. When I regained consciousness I fully understood the reasoning behind the 'no running in the hall' rule. All it took was a concussion and a knot on the side of my head that rivaled any tied by the best boyscout or girl scout. Rules are sometimes their for a reason. The reason is usually to prevent someone from getting hurt. I will admit, however, that there are some painfully stupid rules out there. For example, there is supposedly a law in Idaho that makes it illegal to fish off the back of an elephant. What the *!%$. Is it ok to fish off the front? That rule is not only ridiculous, it discrimintates against circus people. While we are on the subject of rules, I am going to make up a new one. If your happen to disreguard the 'no running' rule and get knocked into next Tuesday by a doorknob, and you happen to have the world's greatest fiancee, let him or her take care of you; it makes the injury worth it. Also, if you happen to run in the hall, please wear a helmet. Thanks.
As an adult I still have a knack for disreguarding the rules. Last week, while deeply emerged in a tickle fight with my fiancee, I sprinted down the corridor of Schubert Heights toward my friend's apartment to escape Ryan's eager fingers. As I approached my destination I literally tripped over my own feet, sailed into a Matrix-like spin and ascended head first into a doorknob. Ouch. When I regained consciousness I fully understood the reasoning behind the 'no running in the hall' rule. All it took was a concussion and a knot on the side of my head that rivaled any tied by the best boyscout or girl scout. Rules are sometimes their for a reason. The reason is usually to prevent someone from getting hurt. I will admit, however, that there are some painfully stupid rules out there. For example, there is supposedly a law in Idaho that makes it illegal to fish off the back of an elephant. What the *!%$. Is it ok to fish off the front? That rule is not only ridiculous, it discrimintates against circus people. While we are on the subject of rules, I am going to make up a new one. If your happen to disreguard the 'no running' rule and get knocked into next Tuesday by a doorknob, and you happen to have the world's greatest fiancee, let him or her take care of you; it makes the injury worth it. Also, if you happen to run in the hall, please wear a helmet. Thanks.