2008 Woodie Awards
Through The Looking Glass
A collection of weird and off-beat news from around the world
Mike Pingree (MCT)
Issue date: 9/13/06 Section: Life
- Page 1 of 1
AND WE HOPE YOU'RE NOT, YOU KNOW, MAD AT US
The crew of an Indonesian fishing boat mutinied and threw the captain overboard, but he grabbed onto a net on the side of the boat and hung on. The crew sheepishly pulled him back onboard later when they realized he was the only one who knew how to operate the vessel.
FREEZE! FAKE POLICE!
A man impersonating a police officer, forced an 18-year-old woman off the road in Canby, Ore., and ordered her out of her car. As he was handcuffing her, a woman in a nearby house became suspicious of the "officer's" legitimacy because he was wearing a T-shirt that read "Under Cover Police."
SMOKE? WHAT SMOKE, OFFICER?
A man robbed a bank in Orlando, Fla., then stuffed the cash down his pants, not realizing that the teller slipped an exploding dye pack in with the money. He fled the scene, but a police officer decided to question him when he saw smoke coming out of the man's pants.
A SUSPICIOUS-LOOKING WOODPECKER WAS SEEN FLEEING THE SCENE!
A man who was convicted many times for pilfering the eggs of rare birds from their nests, climbed a tree in Yorkshire, England, to steal the eggs of a sparrow hawk. He was 30 feet up the tree when a branch broke and he fell to his death.
DO YOU REALLY THINK SO, YOUR HONOR?
A 47-year-old parole violator in Houston, Minn., was unable to report to the county jail to begin his sentence because he was so drunk that he was rushed to the hospital for emergency detox, with a blood-alcohol level of 0.46 percent, which is normally fatal. When he recovered, the judge told him, "You're, like, beyond the `I-have-a-drinking-problem' stage."
SO I OCCASIONALY HIT PEDESTRAINS, SO WHAT?
A saleswoman was stopped on a highway in Murg, Switzerland, when police spotted her zig-zagging all over the road. The reason: she was talking on her cell phone as well as operating her laptop computer. She expressed surprise at being pulled over, saying, "I was driving like I always do."
AH, MEMORIES
A man went through the drive-through at a coffee shop in Bend, Ore., naked from the waist down, not once but twice. He told arresting officers that he was reliving an experience in which his wife once removed his pants before going through a drive-through. Ever since then, he explained, he couldn't stop thinking about it.
SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED A VACATION
A homing pigeon released in Bourges, France, in a race to her home in Northumberland, England, instead wound up on the Caribbean island of St. Eustatius in the Dutch West Indies 5,000 miles away. Her owner speculates that the bird must have ridden most of the way on a cruise ship.
GEE WHIZ, CAN'T A GUY CELEBRATE?
Immediately after being released from prison, a Connecticut man stole two cases of beer from a parked truck and proceeded to swill it down only a short distance from where he stole it. He was arrested.
The crew of an Indonesian fishing boat mutinied and threw the captain overboard, but he grabbed onto a net on the side of the boat and hung on. The crew sheepishly pulled him back onboard later when they realized he was the only one who knew how to operate the vessel.
FREEZE! FAKE POLICE!
A man impersonating a police officer, forced an 18-year-old woman off the road in Canby, Ore., and ordered her out of her car. As he was handcuffing her, a woman in a nearby house became suspicious of the "officer's" legitimacy because he was wearing a T-shirt that read "Under Cover Police."
SMOKE? WHAT SMOKE, OFFICER?
A man robbed a bank in Orlando, Fla., then stuffed the cash down his pants, not realizing that the teller slipped an exploding dye pack in with the money. He fled the scene, but a police officer decided to question him when he saw smoke coming out of the man's pants.
A SUSPICIOUS-LOOKING WOODPECKER WAS SEEN FLEEING THE SCENE!
A man who was convicted many times for pilfering the eggs of rare birds from their nests, climbed a tree in Yorkshire, England, to steal the eggs of a sparrow hawk. He was 30 feet up the tree when a branch broke and he fell to his death.
DO YOU REALLY THINK SO, YOUR HONOR?
A 47-year-old parole violator in Houston, Minn., was unable to report to the county jail to begin his sentence because he was so drunk that he was rushed to the hospital for emergency detox, with a blood-alcohol level of 0.46 percent, which is normally fatal. When he recovered, the judge told him, "You're, like, beyond the `I-have-a-drinking-problem' stage."
SO I OCCASIONALY HIT PEDESTRAINS, SO WHAT?
A saleswoman was stopped on a highway in Murg, Switzerland, when police spotted her zig-zagging all over the road. The reason: she was talking on her cell phone as well as operating her laptop computer. She expressed surprise at being pulled over, saying, "I was driving like I always do."
AH, MEMORIES
A man went through the drive-through at a coffee shop in Bend, Ore., naked from the waist down, not once but twice. He told arresting officers that he was reliving an experience in which his wife once removed his pants before going through a drive-through. Ever since then, he explained, he couldn't stop thinking about it.
SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED A VACATION
A homing pigeon released in Bourges, France, in a race to her home in Northumberland, England, instead wound up on the Caribbean island of St. Eustatius in the Dutch West Indies 5,000 miles away. Her owner speculates that the bird must have ridden most of the way on a cruise ship.
GEE WHIZ, CAN'T A GUY CELEBRATE?
Immediately after being released from prison, a Connecticut man stole two cases of beer from a parked truck and proceeded to swill it down only a short distance from where he stole it. He was arrested.
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