2008 Woodie Awards
Ask Annie
Issue date: 4/4/07 Section: Opinion
- Page 1 of 1
Dear Annie,
I have a sister who has kind of fallen off the deep end lately. She's into drugs, smoking and alcohol. She lives in a filthy sty and spends all of her time reading romance novels and watching soap operas. The problem is she has a three-year-old son. He does pretty much whatever he wants and I am concerned. I stop by and try to help but I'm not sure what else I can do. My sister's sort of 'out of it' and my nephew is not being taken care of. She can't see that there is a problem. What should I do?
-Worried Aunt
Dear Worried Aunt,
I agree that there is a problem and that something needs to be done. It can be hard to stand up to family, especially since she will be your sister forever and you want to maintain a healthy relationship if at all possible. But you need to make sure that she understands your concern. Tell her exactly what problems you see in her current situation and that if she can't make a few changes you will.
When there is a child in danger you need to act. I hate to say it, but if your sister won't fix this problem someone else needs to get involved. In a case like this you might want to try an intervention with family, friends and if necessary a professional counselor.
If that doesn't work the only other choice may be to notify the local welfare office, sometimes termed the Department of Human Services. The only thing to do in a situation like this may be to have the child removed from your sister's custody. You can be appointed legal guardian or have some other family member like a grandparent, uncle or other aunt take over the child's parenting. Your sister may not be able to see the effects of her actions right now, but someday she'll understand.
In my opinion the child should be kept in the family circle where ever possible so that when the child's mother does finally pull her act together she can more easily re-establish guardianship. If such a situation is not possible the state can provide safe housing elsewhere, but if the family has a desire to care for the child the government usually complies and even encourages those wishes.
There are many who feel a neglectful parent is safe, but in their own way, they are just as dangerous as a physically abusive, violent parent is. I would advise you to do whatever you can to help provide a safer, healthier environment for your nephew and help your sister at the same time.
Annie
Please send all questions to isuaskannie@gmail.com
I have a sister who has kind of fallen off the deep end lately. She's into drugs, smoking and alcohol. She lives in a filthy sty and spends all of her time reading romance novels and watching soap operas. The problem is she has a three-year-old son. He does pretty much whatever he wants and I am concerned. I stop by and try to help but I'm not sure what else I can do. My sister's sort of 'out of it' and my nephew is not being taken care of. She can't see that there is a problem. What should I do?
-Worried Aunt
Dear Worried Aunt,
I agree that there is a problem and that something needs to be done. It can be hard to stand up to family, especially since she will be your sister forever and you want to maintain a healthy relationship if at all possible. But you need to make sure that she understands your concern. Tell her exactly what problems you see in her current situation and that if she can't make a few changes you will.
When there is a child in danger you need to act. I hate to say it, but if your sister won't fix this problem someone else needs to get involved. In a case like this you might want to try an intervention with family, friends and if necessary a professional counselor.
If that doesn't work the only other choice may be to notify the local welfare office, sometimes termed the Department of Human Services. The only thing to do in a situation like this may be to have the child removed from your sister's custody. You can be appointed legal guardian or have some other family member like a grandparent, uncle or other aunt take over the child's parenting. Your sister may not be able to see the effects of her actions right now, but someday she'll understand.
In my opinion the child should be kept in the family circle where ever possible so that when the child's mother does finally pull her act together she can more easily re-establish guardianship. If such a situation is not possible the state can provide safe housing elsewhere, but if the family has a desire to care for the child the government usually complies and even encourages those wishes.
There are many who feel a neglectful parent is safe, but in their own way, they are just as dangerous as a physically abusive, violent parent is. I would advise you to do whatever you can to help provide a safer, healthier environment for your nephew and help your sister at the same time.
Annie
Please send all questions to isuaskannie@gmail.com
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