2008 Woodie Awards
Ask Annie
Issue date: 4/11/07 Section: Opinion
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Dear Annie,
Are all guys gross slobs!? So often, when a guy's invited me over after the second or third date, I've discovered such a disgusting disaster area that I wish I'd worn hip-high wading boots. The specifics: dirty, wadded-up towels on the floor, a weeks worth of dirty dishes in the sink, decades of crud on the fixtures and a bathroom so vile that I put off using it until my bladder is ready to burst. Do guys simply not see this stuff? Do they see it and just not care? AND does it not occur to them that a woman might be turned off or even repulsed by such slovenliness and filth?
-Totally Repulsed
Dear Totally Repulsed,
It isn't that guys don't notice the filth, it just takes them a little longer - like until the crud impedes access to the bathroom, the fast food wrappers block their view of the television or the fuzz on the dishes evolves to the point where it hisses when disturbed.
Even then, their method of dealing with things varies from that of a typical woman's. Now, not all guys are slobs and, sure, there are squalor-dwelling chicks out there, but when a woman apologizes for her "disaster area" it's likely she's telling you she left her shoes out or she's forgotten to pick up fresh flowers.
Many women imagine that the men they date have similar feelings about cleanliness and often take it personally when a man invited them into what looks like a one-bed/one-bath Petri dish decorated in a landfill motif. The perceived insult may be magnified if he's a guy who typically looks and smells clean himself. I mean, jeez, in honor of your presence, couldn't he have at least hosed the place down?
As disturbing as this may be, you might actually be seeing the "straightened up" version of your guy's pad. Most guys, even the sloppiest, will attempt to "clean up" before they have a girl over; even if that means simply clearing off the couch or shoving the mess into corners to provide a wider space for walking.
Are all guys gross slobs!? So often, when a guy's invited me over after the second or third date, I've discovered such a disgusting disaster area that I wish I'd worn hip-high wading boots. The specifics: dirty, wadded-up towels on the floor, a weeks worth of dirty dishes in the sink, decades of crud on the fixtures and a bathroom so vile that I put off using it until my bladder is ready to burst. Do guys simply not see this stuff? Do they see it and just not care? AND does it not occur to them that a woman might be turned off or even repulsed by such slovenliness and filth?
-Totally Repulsed
Dear Totally Repulsed,
It isn't that guys don't notice the filth, it just takes them a little longer - like until the crud impedes access to the bathroom, the fast food wrappers block their view of the television or the fuzz on the dishes evolves to the point where it hisses when disturbed.
Even then, their method of dealing with things varies from that of a typical woman's. Now, not all guys are slobs and, sure, there are squalor-dwelling chicks out there, but when a woman apologizes for her "disaster area" it's likely she's telling you she left her shoes out or she's forgotten to pick up fresh flowers.
Many women imagine that the men they date have similar feelings about cleanliness and often take it personally when a man invited them into what looks like a one-bed/one-bath Petri dish decorated in a landfill motif. The perceived insult may be magnified if he's a guy who typically looks and smells clean himself. I mean, jeez, in honor of your presence, couldn't he have at least hosed the place down?
As disturbing as this may be, you might actually be seeing the "straightened up" version of your guy's pad. Most guys, even the sloppiest, will attempt to "clean up" before they have a girl over; even if that means simply clearing off the couch or shoving the mess into corners to provide a wider space for walking.
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