2008 Woodie Awards
Through the looking glass
Mike Pingree (MCT)
Issue date: 4/18/07 Section: Life
- Page 1 of 1
GO AHEAD, SHOOT IT, THERE'S
NO ONE AROUND
Two teenagers were walking through the Ochoco National Forest in Oregon firing rifles at road signs for target practice. They probably went too far when they shot a temporary sign that read "Police Training Exercise Ahead," because a sheriff's patrol car was on them in seconds.
CAN'T TALK NOW, I'LL HAVE TO CALL
YOU BACK
Police in Halifax, Nova Scotia, were searching the neighborhood for a man who had been seen breaking into parking meters nearby. The thief hid himself in a dumpster, but was caught when his cell phone rang just as the cops were passing by.
EXCUSE ME, HONEY, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
A man took his girlfriend out to a restaurant in Chattanooga, Tenn., then left her there and went back to their apartment where he loaded up all of their furniture and moved out.
YEAH, I'VE HAD A FEW, YOUR
HONOR, SO WHAT!
A man was summonsed to court in York, Pa., to answer a charge of driving while intoxicated. He showed up drunk.
I SAW YOU DURING THE RAID AND I FEEL WE MADE A CONNECTION
After raiding a brothel in East London, a married police officer finished his shift then returned to have sex with one of the ladies.
THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE,
BABY; I SWEAR
A man in Dallas came home for a card game late at night to find his wife having sex with another guy in the cab of a pickup truck parked in the driveway. The wife got out of the vehicle, and, thinking fast, said she was being raped. The husband pulled his gun and fired at the other guy as he was driving off, killing him. Now the wife ñ not the husband ñ is being charged with manslaughter.
WHEEEE! TOP OF THE WORLD!
After becoming heavily intoxicated, a Zamboni driver proceeded to groom the ice at the Mennen Sports Arena in Morristown, N.J., at a high rate of speed almost crashing the four-ton vehicle into the boards. He was arrested for drunk driving, but a judge threw the charge out on a technicality: the vehicle can't be used on the road and can't carry passengers.
VERILY WE SHALL SMITE THE WICKED
After beginning Sunday Mass outside a Port Richey, Fla., church to accommodate the crowd, the priest went inside to continue the service but left the microphone on. Some teenagers took advantage of this, stepping up to the mike and swearing and saying things like "Yo homey." Eight angry men came out, chased the lads down and gave them an Old Testament-style thrashing.
WHY DON'T YOU MAKE ME, COPPER!
GUSH! AIEEEEE!
After murdering his mother-in-law and 13-year-old nephew in Shenyang, China, a man went out on the eighth-floor of a hospital and refused to come down. After two hours, the cops got tired of the ordeal and ordered firemen to blast him off his perch with a water cannon. He fell into an airbag they had thoughtfully positioned on the ground.
NO ONE AROUND
Two teenagers were walking through the Ochoco National Forest in Oregon firing rifles at road signs for target practice. They probably went too far when they shot a temporary sign that read "Police Training Exercise Ahead," because a sheriff's patrol car was on them in seconds.
CAN'T TALK NOW, I'LL HAVE TO CALL
YOU BACK
Police in Halifax, Nova Scotia, were searching the neighborhood for a man who had been seen breaking into parking meters nearby. The thief hid himself in a dumpster, but was caught when his cell phone rang just as the cops were passing by.
EXCUSE ME, HONEY, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
A man took his girlfriend out to a restaurant in Chattanooga, Tenn., then left her there and went back to their apartment where he loaded up all of their furniture and moved out.
YEAH, I'VE HAD A FEW, YOUR
HONOR, SO WHAT!
A man was summonsed to court in York, Pa., to answer a charge of driving while intoxicated. He showed up drunk.
I SAW YOU DURING THE RAID AND I FEEL WE MADE A CONNECTION
After raiding a brothel in East London, a married police officer finished his shift then returned to have sex with one of the ladies.
THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE,
BABY; I SWEAR
A man in Dallas came home for a card game late at night to find his wife having sex with another guy in the cab of a pickup truck parked in the driveway. The wife got out of the vehicle, and, thinking fast, said she was being raped. The husband pulled his gun and fired at the other guy as he was driving off, killing him. Now the wife ñ not the husband ñ is being charged with manslaughter.
WHEEEE! TOP OF THE WORLD!
After becoming heavily intoxicated, a Zamboni driver proceeded to groom the ice at the Mennen Sports Arena in Morristown, N.J., at a high rate of speed almost crashing the four-ton vehicle into the boards. He was arrested for drunk driving, but a judge threw the charge out on a technicality: the vehicle can't be used on the road and can't carry passengers.
VERILY WE SHALL SMITE THE WICKED
After beginning Sunday Mass outside a Port Richey, Fla., church to accommodate the crowd, the priest went inside to continue the service but left the microphone on. Some teenagers took advantage of this, stepping up to the mike and swearing and saying things like "Yo homey." Eight angry men came out, chased the lads down and gave them an Old Testament-style thrashing.
WHY DON'T YOU MAKE ME, COPPER!
GUSH! AIEEEEE!
After murdering his mother-in-law and 13-year-old nephew in Shenyang, China, a man went out on the eighth-floor of a hospital and refused to come down. After two hours, the cops got tired of the ordeal and ordered firemen to blast him off his perch with a water cannon. He fell into an airbag they had thoughtfully positioned on the ground.
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