2008 Woodie Awards
Through the Looking Glass
Mike Pingree(MCT)
Issue date: 9/5/07 Section: Life
- Page 1 of 1
LOOK OFFICER, I'M NOT WITH THEM, I SWEAR
As a back-to-school prank, a college student stripped off his clothes and streaked through a park in Lodi, Calif. At that very moment, dozens of cops had converged on the park in pursuit of three car thieves who had abandoned their vehicle and fled on foot. Two of the criminals and the naked guy wound up hiding in the same back yard when the police descended on them.
ASSAULT WITH A FRIENDLY WEAPON
A man robbed a bookmaking establishment in Leicester, England, brandishing his girlfriend's vibrator as a weapon.
SO, YOU SEE, I'M ACTUALLY JUST A PEDESTRIAN NOW
Apparently unfamiliar with the laws regarding shoplifting, a woman who took some items from a Neiman Marcus in White Plains, N.Y. without paying screamed at a security guard who confronted her on the sidewalk, "It's too late, I already left the store!"
UH, OK, NO FURTHER QUESTIONS
A woman, who worked as a forensic scientist for the state of Michigan, suspected that her husband was cheating on her, so she took a pair of his underwear to her lab and ran a DNA test herself. Asked at her divorce trial who the DNA belonged to, she replied, "Another female. It wasn't me."
COME ON, BOB, STOP KIDDING AROU .... OOPS! SORRY SIR ... WHAP!
During an armed robbery of a convenience store in Fort Gratiot Township, Mich., a customer, thinking the masked man was a friend of his playing a practical joke, playfully grabbed him. The robber hit him on the head with the gun and fled with the money.
SURPRISE! ... WHO THE HELL IS SHE!?
In a travel survey, people were asked, "What was the most unpleasant thing you found in a hotel room when you checked in?" The best answer: "My girlfriend ... while (I was) with someone else."
OK HONEY, I'M SORRY! I REALLY, REALLY AM!
An intoxicated 40-year-old woman got into an argument with her boyfriend in the driveway of their Florida home, which ended when she got into her car, hit him and drove off with him hanging onto the roof of the vehicle screaming for her to stop.
Passers-by noticed this and informed the authorities.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, WE ALREADY HAVE A COFFIN
To celebrate his 80th birthday, a man in Dorset, England, organized a fake "wake," inviting his friends to come and "eulogize" him. But the party had to be cancelled when he actually died.
I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S HIM
Identifying a man who tried to sell him marijuana in Portsmouth, N.H., a teenager described him as having a heavily tattooed face with a row of arrows over each eyebrow, and tattoos on his forehead, scalp and both cheeks. The police had no trouble spotting him.
SOURCES: KMAX, Guardian, The Journal News, MSNBC, Detroit Free Press, kayak.com, St. Petersburg Times, Sunday Mirror, Sun Journal.
As a back-to-school prank, a college student stripped off his clothes and streaked through a park in Lodi, Calif. At that very moment, dozens of cops had converged on the park in pursuit of three car thieves who had abandoned their vehicle and fled on foot. Two of the criminals and the naked guy wound up hiding in the same back yard when the police descended on them.
ASSAULT WITH A FRIENDLY WEAPON
A man robbed a bookmaking establishment in Leicester, England, brandishing his girlfriend's vibrator as a weapon.
SO, YOU SEE, I'M ACTUALLY JUST A PEDESTRIAN NOW
Apparently unfamiliar with the laws regarding shoplifting, a woman who took some items from a Neiman Marcus in White Plains, N.Y. without paying screamed at a security guard who confronted her on the sidewalk, "It's too late, I already left the store!"
UH, OK, NO FURTHER QUESTIONS
A woman, who worked as a forensic scientist for the state of Michigan, suspected that her husband was cheating on her, so she took a pair of his underwear to her lab and ran a DNA test herself. Asked at her divorce trial who the DNA belonged to, she replied, "Another female. It wasn't me."
COME ON, BOB, STOP KIDDING AROU .... OOPS! SORRY SIR ... WHAP!
During an armed robbery of a convenience store in Fort Gratiot Township, Mich., a customer, thinking the masked man was a friend of his playing a practical joke, playfully grabbed him. The robber hit him on the head with the gun and fled with the money.
SURPRISE! ... WHO THE HELL IS SHE!?
In a travel survey, people were asked, "What was the most unpleasant thing you found in a hotel room when you checked in?" The best answer: "My girlfriend ... while (I was) with someone else."
OK HONEY, I'M SORRY! I REALLY, REALLY AM!
An intoxicated 40-year-old woman got into an argument with her boyfriend in the driveway of their Florida home, which ended when she got into her car, hit him and drove off with him hanging onto the roof of the vehicle screaming for her to stop.
Passers-by noticed this and informed the authorities.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, WE ALREADY HAVE A COFFIN
To celebrate his 80th birthday, a man in Dorset, England, organized a fake "wake," inviting his friends to come and "eulogize" him. But the party had to be cancelled when he actually died.
I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S HIM
Identifying a man who tried to sell him marijuana in Portsmouth, N.H., a teenager described him as having a heavily tattooed face with a row of arrows over each eyebrow, and tattoos on his forehead, scalp and both cheeks. The police had no trouble spotting him.
SOURCES: KMAX, Guardian, The Journal News, MSNBC, Detroit Free Press, kayak.com, St. Petersburg Times, Sunday Mirror, Sun Journal.
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