2008 Woodie Awards
Through the Looking Glass
A collection of unusual and freakish news from around the world
Mike Pingree (MCT)
Issue date: 9/12/07 Section: Life
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BUT I WASN'T ACTUALLY DRIVING _ HE WAS
Two men, one of them with no legs, were arrested for drunk driving in Abbotsford, Wis., after the cops, who pulled over their pickup truck, discovered that the legless man had been sitting on the other man's lap and steering the vehicle while the other man operated the gas pedal and brake.
HEY GUYS, BOOB ALERT!
Monkeys have been harassing the women in a village in Kenya, and mocking their efforts to guard the crops. Since the monkeys are afraid of the men, the women tried dressing in their husbands' clothes to fool them, but it didn't work.
"They can tell the difference, and they don't run away from us and point at our breasts," one woman said. "(Then) they ... continue to steal the crops."
GASP! ... HELLO, CENTRAL ... OH, YESSSS! ... CALLING IN!
A police officer, who was working at Gatwick Airport near London, was brought up on charges for having sex while at work. He argued that, during his sex romps, he was wearing an earpiece tuned to the police radio frequency, and so would have been able to respond to any emergency situation. He was acquitted.
ON SECOND THOUGHT, LET'S TRY IT DAD'S WAY
Police in Philadelphia arrested a man for handcuffing his son and chaining him to a bed to keep him out of trouble. The boy was freed, and the next day he was arrested for attempting to steal a car and for vandalizing several others.
UH, SPIKE, MAY I COME IN? ... HOLD ON A MINUTE ... FLUSH, FLUSH
Senior government officials have urged wardens at a prison in Birmingham, England, to address the convicts by their preferred names and to knock on their cell doors before entering to show them respect. The wardens, who feel that the prisoners could be doing anything from escaping to taking drugs, aren't thrilled by the idea.
REVELATION NUMBER ONE: YOU CAN'T BREATHE UNDER WATER
A witch doctor in Tanzania told the people of his village that he was going to dive into the river and confer with the ancestral spirits beneath the water for three days, then resurface and tell of their revelations. He drowned.
Two men, one of them with no legs, were arrested for drunk driving in Abbotsford, Wis., after the cops, who pulled over their pickup truck, discovered that the legless man had been sitting on the other man's lap and steering the vehicle while the other man operated the gas pedal and brake.
HEY GUYS, BOOB ALERT!
Monkeys have been harassing the women in a village in Kenya, and mocking their efforts to guard the crops. Since the monkeys are afraid of the men, the women tried dressing in their husbands' clothes to fool them, but it didn't work.
"They can tell the difference, and they don't run away from us and point at our breasts," one woman said. "(Then) they ... continue to steal the crops."
GASP! ... HELLO, CENTRAL ... OH, YESSSS! ... CALLING IN!
A police officer, who was working at Gatwick Airport near London, was brought up on charges for having sex while at work. He argued that, during his sex romps, he was wearing an earpiece tuned to the police radio frequency, and so would have been able to respond to any emergency situation. He was acquitted.
ON SECOND THOUGHT, LET'S TRY IT DAD'S WAY
Police in Philadelphia arrested a man for handcuffing his son and chaining him to a bed to keep him out of trouble. The boy was freed, and the next day he was arrested for attempting to steal a car and for vandalizing several others.
UH, SPIKE, MAY I COME IN? ... HOLD ON A MINUTE ... FLUSH, FLUSH
Senior government officials have urged wardens at a prison in Birmingham, England, to address the convicts by their preferred names and to knock on their cell doors before entering to show them respect. The wardens, who feel that the prisoners could be doing anything from escaping to taking drugs, aren't thrilled by the idea.
REVELATION NUMBER ONE: YOU CAN'T BREATHE UNDER WATER
A witch doctor in Tanzania told the people of his village that he was going to dive into the river and confer with the ancestral spirits beneath the water for three days, then resurface and tell of their revelations. He drowned.
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