2008 Woodie Awards
Aiding squirrels may put a student's enrollment at risk
Todd Itami
Issue date: 10/17/07 Section: Opinion
- Page 1 of 1
Amongst the many favorite and fluffy animals that can be seen on the campus of Idaho State University one species stands out. Not only is this animal supported by in-kind donations from faculty, staff, and students alike, but also they are even pointed out in official communications such as campus tours.
The "tail" of the campus squirrels arrival at Idaho State University is as ambiguous as it is fabled. Some claim that the species are indigenous to Pocatello and that they are a natural feature of the environment. While others, like my father, argue that the species were released after some spent experiment by the biology department. Personally, as someone who grew up in the area, I find it extremely suspicious that the squirrel population is so concentrated in this area. No matter how they came to be, the fact is that they are here to stay.
This is the point in the article that I will start to convince you just how ridiculous and incredibly biased our views towards these rodents are.
Lets take a look at the squirrel anatomy. Basically it's exactly the same as a rat. Not much different. The only difference is that the squirrel happens to have a big bushy fluffy tail while the rat is cursed with a pink, rather hairless tail. Perhaps we can draw a parallel here with discrimination that bald humans endure. Nevertheless, both animals scavenge for food and are fairly sneaky. I have witnessed squirrels eat not only the usual assemblage of nuts and pinecones but trash as well. If I had a nickel for every time a squirrel was seen diving out of a dumpster on campus, I would be a rich man.
Further parallels can be drawn. Both animals sleep in nests, both animals can carry terrible diseases, both animals have been known to bite, claw, and scratch humans without any warning or provocation, and both animals carry a host of parasites.
These squirrels have some magic about them that keeps them in favorable senses of the humans here. Take the house cat for instance. It's a very popular pet that most people consider "cute." Can you imagine if an equal number or cats populated the trees and grounds of campus instead of squirrels? It would be totally preposterous! No one would stand for it. But it seems to be just fine if an even wilder un-tame-able rodent inhabits campus.
Just this week I was sitting in the student government offices when a female student reported to me that she was attacked by one of these fluffy guys. She later was administered a rabies shot by local physicians. But you know what? It's totally okay. You can count on ISU officials doing nothing and why? The tail (I need not re emphasize the luxuriant and cuddly nature of it).
To end, I will just put out this word of warning. You have the choice to feed, care for, or completely ignore these animals. I would choose the latter. I would also remind you that page 20 section "O" of the student handbook strictly prohibits "Aiding or abetting or acting as an accomplice" to offenders. So next time you want to feed one of these thieving, daily-near-fatal-car-accident-causing, flea bitten, squatters…think twice. Your status as a student here at good old I.S. of U could be at risk.
The "tail" of the campus squirrels arrival at Idaho State University is as ambiguous as it is fabled. Some claim that the species are indigenous to Pocatello and that they are a natural feature of the environment. While others, like my father, argue that the species were released after some spent experiment by the biology department. Personally, as someone who grew up in the area, I find it extremely suspicious that the squirrel population is so concentrated in this area. No matter how they came to be, the fact is that they are here to stay.
This is the point in the article that I will start to convince you just how ridiculous and incredibly biased our views towards these rodents are.
Lets take a look at the squirrel anatomy. Basically it's exactly the same as a rat. Not much different. The only difference is that the squirrel happens to have a big bushy fluffy tail while the rat is cursed with a pink, rather hairless tail. Perhaps we can draw a parallel here with discrimination that bald humans endure. Nevertheless, both animals scavenge for food and are fairly sneaky. I have witnessed squirrels eat not only the usual assemblage of nuts and pinecones but trash as well. If I had a nickel for every time a squirrel was seen diving out of a dumpster on campus, I would be a rich man.
Further parallels can be drawn. Both animals sleep in nests, both animals can carry terrible diseases, both animals have been known to bite, claw, and scratch humans without any warning or provocation, and both animals carry a host of parasites.
These squirrels have some magic about them that keeps them in favorable senses of the humans here. Take the house cat for instance. It's a very popular pet that most people consider "cute." Can you imagine if an equal number or cats populated the trees and grounds of campus instead of squirrels? It would be totally preposterous! No one would stand for it. But it seems to be just fine if an even wilder un-tame-able rodent inhabits campus.
Just this week I was sitting in the student government offices when a female student reported to me that she was attacked by one of these fluffy guys. She later was administered a rabies shot by local physicians. But you know what? It's totally okay. You can count on ISU officials doing nothing and why? The tail (I need not re emphasize the luxuriant and cuddly nature of it).
To end, I will just put out this word of warning. You have the choice to feed, care for, or completely ignore these animals. I would choose the latter. I would also remind you that page 20 section "O" of the student handbook strictly prohibits "Aiding or abetting or acting as an accomplice" to offenders. So next time you want to feed one of these thieving, daily-near-fatal-car-accident-causing, flea bitten, squatters…think twice. Your status as a student here at good old I.S. of U could be at risk.
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