2008 Woodie Awards
Through the Looking Glass
Mike Pingree
Issue date: 10/24/07 Section: Sports
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BUT DARLING, I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL
Faced with divorce from his wife of 35 years, a wealthy London businessman went on a $15 million spending spree to keep his ex from getting any of his dough.
He bought land and homes, spent more than $200,000 for a car, and embarked on an extravagant lifestyle that cost more than $150,000 a month. He showered his mistress with very expensive gifts, dinners and designer clothes and moved her into a $665,000 house she had chosen. His downfall came when he tired of her and had her evicted. She testified against him.
JUST RELAX AND PUT YOURSELF IN MY HANDS
A dentist in Woodland, Calif., was brought before a judge after 26 women complained that he fondled their breasts while he was working on their teeth.
THEY'LL NEVER CATCH ME NOW ... AIEEEE!
After stealing groceries from a store in Parchment, Mich., a man fled the scene and ran right into an area where police K-9 officers were training their dogs.
A BOMB? SAY, IS THAT YOU, BILL?
A man in New Florence, Pa., phoned in a bomb threat to his place of employment so he wouldn't have to go to work. He made two key errors: He called from his cell phone and he failed to disguise his voice, so the employee who answered the call knew immediately who he was.
YOU, SIR, ARE A CAD AND A BOUNDER
A 31-year-old British woman, on the rebound from a relationship, met a man in a bar who charmed her, and soon talked her into bed. Unbeknownst to her, however, the man filmed their lovemaking and made DVDs of it. Court proceedings have resulted.
CHANGE FOR A MILLION AT REGISTER THREE!
A man tried to pass a counterfeit $1 million bill featuring a picture of President Grover Cleveland at a supermarket in Pennsylvania. The manager recognized the bill as bogus and refused to give to back to him. The man flew into a rage and began smashing things.
ANYBODY GOT A BIG ERASER?
As a loving tribute to his common-law wife of 15 years, a Welsh steelworker had a life-size image of her tattooed on his back, which took 20 hours and cost about $1,800. Shortly thereafter, she ran off with a 25-year-old Latvian fitness instructor.
INTOXICATED!? ME!? WHAT EVIDENCE DO YOU HAVE OF THAT!?
After finding the wreckage of a boat on the beach at Baerum, Norway, at 2 a.m., rescue workers launched an air and sea search for the owner of the vessel. They finally found him sleeping on the sofa of his mother's home nearby. Police said, "We have a suspicion of intoxication."
WE'RE NOT WHO YOU'RE LOOKING FOR, OFFICER
Police searching for a man who stole a jar full of change from a restaurant in South Carolina, came upon a pickup truck parked on the side of the road. When the cops pulled up, two guys ran from the vehicle and were arrested. They had nothing to do with the theft. They had fled because they were fugitives from Ohio.
Faced with divorce from his wife of 35 years, a wealthy London businessman went on a $15 million spending spree to keep his ex from getting any of his dough.
He bought land and homes, spent more than $200,000 for a car, and embarked on an extravagant lifestyle that cost more than $150,000 a month. He showered his mistress with very expensive gifts, dinners and designer clothes and moved her into a $665,000 house she had chosen. His downfall came when he tired of her and had her evicted. She testified against him.
JUST RELAX AND PUT YOURSELF IN MY HANDS
A dentist in Woodland, Calif., was brought before a judge after 26 women complained that he fondled their breasts while he was working on their teeth.
THEY'LL NEVER CATCH ME NOW ... AIEEEE!
After stealing groceries from a store in Parchment, Mich., a man fled the scene and ran right into an area where police K-9 officers were training their dogs.
A BOMB? SAY, IS THAT YOU, BILL?
A man in New Florence, Pa., phoned in a bomb threat to his place of employment so he wouldn't have to go to work. He made two key errors: He called from his cell phone and he failed to disguise his voice, so the employee who answered the call knew immediately who he was.
YOU, SIR, ARE A CAD AND A BOUNDER
A 31-year-old British woman, on the rebound from a relationship, met a man in a bar who charmed her, and soon talked her into bed. Unbeknownst to her, however, the man filmed their lovemaking and made DVDs of it. Court proceedings have resulted.
CHANGE FOR A MILLION AT REGISTER THREE!
A man tried to pass a counterfeit $1 million bill featuring a picture of President Grover Cleveland at a supermarket in Pennsylvania. The manager recognized the bill as bogus and refused to give to back to him. The man flew into a rage and began smashing things.
ANYBODY GOT A BIG ERASER?
As a loving tribute to his common-law wife of 15 years, a Welsh steelworker had a life-size image of her tattooed on his back, which took 20 hours and cost about $1,800. Shortly thereafter, she ran off with a 25-year-old Latvian fitness instructor.
INTOXICATED!? ME!? WHAT EVIDENCE DO YOU HAVE OF THAT!?
After finding the wreckage of a boat on the beach at Baerum, Norway, at 2 a.m., rescue workers launched an air and sea search for the owner of the vessel. They finally found him sleeping on the sofa of his mother's home nearby. Police said, "We have a suspicion of intoxication."
WE'RE NOT WHO YOU'RE LOOKING FOR, OFFICER
Police searching for a man who stole a jar full of change from a restaurant in South Carolina, came upon a pickup truck parked on the side of the road. When the cops pulled up, two guys ran from the vehicle and were arrested. They had nothing to do with the theft. They had fled because they were fugitives from Ohio.
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