2008 Woodie Awards
Cell phones, armed students and classroom chaos
Joshua Mayes
Issue date: 3/5/08 Section: Opinion
In class the other day I watched as a girl spent the entire 50-minute lecture text messaging someone on her cell phone. That is how much cell phones distract me. It isn't just some annoying circus jingle ringtone, it is the presence of the cell phone itself that irritates me. How hard is it to turn the phone off before class and then turn it on again after class gets out?
Turning off a phone must be pretty hard because no one seems capable of doing it. Now there is talk of considering concealed weapons on campus. I have already fashioned a holster so I can start concealing my lawn darts on my hip in case someone tries to steal my cattle. Why do we need weapons on campus? When the day comes when we can turn off our cell phones before a lecture, not after they go off, maybe then the maturity and responsibility will be displayed to entertain the idea of concealed weapons.
Can you imagine the future classroom of '08 where people spend the class period cleaning their guns instead of listening to the lectures? "What are you doing there Johnny?" The professor will ask. "Nothing sir, I'm just cleaning out my gun and reloading it because I fell asleep in my last class and shot a hole in the wall of the lecture center. Hold on a second man I have a phone call." The student will lovingly reply.
I would be scared as a professor if all the students are armed. "Here is your paper back Johnny. It didn't seem like you put a great deal of effort into it, and it reads like a text message. What is a 'BRB'?" The poor professor will ask. Then a hammer will click back and the grade will be changed to an "A."
A woman in one of my classes decided to bring her 6-year-old daughter to class with her. I'll admit that I was worried that she would start crying or cause some other kind of commotion, but it never happened. She was perfectly still, attentive, quiet and respectful for the entire lecture. Instead of the 6-year-old girls being a cause for disturbance a cell phone starts screaming some redneck anthem. This was followed by absolute silence as if a bomb went off. The professor stops everything and waits for her to answer it, which she does. Then she announces to the professor and the class that it was her son calling her. Should I jot that down in my notes?
No, because it has no place in the class I have spent a good deal of money on for the sake of gaining some knowledge. I'm not getting a bachelor's degree in What-Phone-Calls-Were-Received-During-A-College-Course, with an emphasis in Text Messaging, and a minor in Gun Cleaning. In the future I won't even be able to roll my eyes or express disgust because students will be swinging around some cold steel while negotiating at great length what they are going to have for dinner that night because it can't wait until after class.
This is a plea to start turning off your cell phones before class. Oddly, I would rather get picked off in the crossfire of some firearm misunderstanding than hear "The Entertainer" ringtone one more time during a lecture.
Turning off a phone must be pretty hard because no one seems capable of doing it. Now there is talk of considering concealed weapons on campus. I have already fashioned a holster so I can start concealing my lawn darts on my hip in case someone tries to steal my cattle. Why do we need weapons on campus? When the day comes when we can turn off our cell phones before a lecture, not after they go off, maybe then the maturity and responsibility will be displayed to entertain the idea of concealed weapons.
Can you imagine the future classroom of '08 where people spend the class period cleaning their guns instead of listening to the lectures? "What are you doing there Johnny?" The professor will ask. "Nothing sir, I'm just cleaning out my gun and reloading it because I fell asleep in my last class and shot a hole in the wall of the lecture center. Hold on a second man I have a phone call." The student will lovingly reply.
I would be scared as a professor if all the students are armed. "Here is your paper back Johnny. It didn't seem like you put a great deal of effort into it, and it reads like a text message. What is a 'BRB'?" The poor professor will ask. Then a hammer will click back and the grade will be changed to an "A."
A woman in one of my classes decided to bring her 6-year-old daughter to class with her. I'll admit that I was worried that she would start crying or cause some other kind of commotion, but it never happened. She was perfectly still, attentive, quiet and respectful for the entire lecture. Instead of the 6-year-old girls being a cause for disturbance a cell phone starts screaming some redneck anthem. This was followed by absolute silence as if a bomb went off. The professor stops everything and waits for her to answer it, which she does. Then she announces to the professor and the class that it was her son calling her. Should I jot that down in my notes?
No, because it has no place in the class I have spent a good deal of money on for the sake of gaining some knowledge. I'm not getting a bachelor's degree in What-Phone-Calls-Were-Received-During-A-College-Course, with an emphasis in Text Messaging, and a minor in Gun Cleaning. In the future I won't even be able to roll my eyes or express disgust because students will be swinging around some cold steel while negotiating at great length what they are going to have for dinner that night because it can't wait until after class.
This is a plea to start turning off your cell phones before class. Oddly, I would rather get picked off in the crossfire of some firearm misunderstanding than hear "The Entertainer" ringtone one more time during a lecture.
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