2008 Woodie Awards
Through the Looking Glass
Mike Pingree
Issue date: 4/9/08 Section: Life
CERTAINLY, HAPPY TO HELP, MA'AM ... WHAP!
Stewardesses on a Sydney to Perth flight tried repeatedly to quiet an obnoxiously drunk passenger, but to no avail. When the man persisted in his "extremely aggressive and abusive" behavior, one of the stewardesses appealed for help to the brawny members of the Stormers, a South African rugby team traveling to Perth for a game. One of the lads then walked up to the guy and smacked him right in the head. He remained quiet for the rest of the flight.
AND WHO ARE ALL THESE LADIES?
After the pastor of a church in Lyndonville, N.Y., suddenly disappeared, his family became frantic and called the authorities. Police found him at 1 a.m. at a strip joint in Dayton, Ohio. A police spokesman said, "He told the officers that he did not know how he got there or where he was."
OK, HONEY, I THINK YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT:
Unable to resolve an argument with her husband over $300 in front of their Port St. Lucie, Fla., home, a woman got into the family minivan and chased him around the yard, attempting to run him over about 20 times. Police involvement resulted.
I THINK THIS PRETTY MUCH PROVES OUR POINT:
When a police officer came to a woman's home in Bay City, Mich., to serve papers requiring her to undergo a mental examination, she hit him with a shovel.
OK, MA'AM, STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE ... YIKES!
A heavily intoxicated 22-year-old woman was arrested for drunk driving in Yonkers, N.Y. She was naked from the waist down.
CAR THIEF RULE NUMBER ONE: FIRST, LOOK AROUND:
A man tried to steal a car right in front of the police station in Gilbert, Ariz., at the exact moment an officer was standing there giving an interview to a television news crew. The arrest was swift.
SO THE COPS HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE:
A young man and two young ladies spent almost an hour getting into old-fashioned costumes and posing for pictures in an old-time portrait studio in Vancouver, British Columbia. Then they looked at the pictures in the computer screen and ran off without paying the bill. They left the pictures behind. The police have been alerted.
OK, WE'VE GOT THE STUFF ... UH, NEVER MIND:
Two youths rode out of a wooded area in Nausori, Fiji, carrying about five pounds of mariuana leaves, and stopped a vehicle they thought was there to pick up the illegal weed. It turned out to be a police car. They fled.
HEY, I'VE GOT TO GET HOME SOMEHOW:
A man was released from the Palm Beach County lockup after being arrested for trespassing. He immediately went out into the parking lot and tried to carjack a woman's vehicle. He told the officer who immediately arrested him again, "I didn't feel like walking."
SOURCES: The Australian, The Buffalo News, Port St. Lucie News, The Saginaw News, WTOP, WKMG, Times Colonist, Fiji Times, South Florida Sun-Sentinel
Stewardesses on a Sydney to Perth flight tried repeatedly to quiet an obnoxiously drunk passenger, but to no avail. When the man persisted in his "extremely aggressive and abusive" behavior, one of the stewardesses appealed for help to the brawny members of the Stormers, a South African rugby team traveling to Perth for a game. One of the lads then walked up to the guy and smacked him right in the head. He remained quiet for the rest of the flight.
AND WHO ARE ALL THESE LADIES?
After the pastor of a church in Lyndonville, N.Y., suddenly disappeared, his family became frantic and called the authorities. Police found him at 1 a.m. at a strip joint in Dayton, Ohio. A police spokesman said, "He told the officers that he did not know how he got there or where he was."
OK, HONEY, I THINK YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT:
Unable to resolve an argument with her husband over $300 in front of their Port St. Lucie, Fla., home, a woman got into the family minivan and chased him around the yard, attempting to run him over about 20 times. Police involvement resulted.
I THINK THIS PRETTY MUCH PROVES OUR POINT:
When a police officer came to a woman's home in Bay City, Mich., to serve papers requiring her to undergo a mental examination, she hit him with a shovel.
OK, MA'AM, STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE ... YIKES!
A heavily intoxicated 22-year-old woman was arrested for drunk driving in Yonkers, N.Y. She was naked from the waist down.
CAR THIEF RULE NUMBER ONE: FIRST, LOOK AROUND:
A man tried to steal a car right in front of the police station in Gilbert, Ariz., at the exact moment an officer was standing there giving an interview to a television news crew. The arrest was swift.
SO THE COPS HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE:
A young man and two young ladies spent almost an hour getting into old-fashioned costumes and posing for pictures in an old-time portrait studio in Vancouver, British Columbia. Then they looked at the pictures in the computer screen and ran off without paying the bill. They left the pictures behind. The police have been alerted.
OK, WE'VE GOT THE STUFF ... UH, NEVER MIND:
Two youths rode out of a wooded area in Nausori, Fiji, carrying about five pounds of mariuana leaves, and stopped a vehicle they thought was there to pick up the illegal weed. It turned out to be a police car. They fled.
HEY, I'VE GOT TO GET HOME SOMEHOW:
A man was released from the Palm Beach County lockup after being arrested for trespassing. He immediately went out into the parking lot and tried to carjack a woman's vehicle. He told the officer who immediately arrested him again, "I didn't feel like walking."
SOURCES: The Australian, The Buffalo News, Port St. Lucie News, The Saginaw News, WTOP, WKMG, Times Colonist, Fiji Times, South Florida Sun-Sentinel
Be the first to comment on this story