2008 Woodie Awards
Through the Looking Glass
Mike Pingree
Issue date: 4/16/08 Section: Life
SO, I THINK I SHOULD JUST GO ... CHOMP!
After an evening of drinking, a man accompanied a woman he met at a nightclub in Glasgow, Scotland, to a nearby hotel to spend the night. But, once back in the room, he apparently realized she wasn't as beautiful as he thought she was, and started to leave only a few minutes later, saying she was fat. In response, she bit off his ear.
MAY I SEE YOUR BADGE, OFFICER?
An off-duty policeman in Balclutha, New Zealand, who sleeps in the nude, was in bed when he heard someone trying to steal his wife's car from their driveway in the middle of the night. He ran out of the house naked, chased the guy down and arrested him.
NOW THAT I THINK OF IT, IT DID SEEM LIKE IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE:
A college kid on spring break in Florida encountered two young ladies in a Panama City bar, and they suggested he follow them to the beach outside for some wild sex. Then they called four men who beat him up and stole his wallet.
YOU WANT SOME CRACK? CERTAINLY, WHY DON'T WE MEET?
When the driver of a car they pulled over in Lake Charles, La., couldn't produce a valid driver's license, police called the registered owner and left a message on her phone to determine whether the car had been stolen. But the woman apparently thought the message was from her drug dealer, and called the cop back and asked him if she could buy $150 worth of crack cocaine.
WHAT IS THIS, NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC TV!?
Twenty minutes after a religious program ended, a technician at a TV station in French Polynesia decided to use the company's equipment to watch a porn movie. Unfortunately, he made an error and broadcast the flick over the airwaves. Many telephone calls resulted.
THE DEAL IS OFF, LADY!
A man picked up a prostitute in Johannesburg, South Africa, and adjourned to his hotel room where he proceeded to rip off his clothes and encouraged her to do the same. When she refused, a tussle ensued during which the man realized his date had equipment that no woman possesses. Inspector Moses Maphakela, said, "Let's just say that, when he touched her, he realized he wasn't touching a woman."
After an evening of drinking, a man accompanied a woman he met at a nightclub in Glasgow, Scotland, to a nearby hotel to spend the night. But, once back in the room, he apparently realized she wasn't as beautiful as he thought she was, and started to leave only a few minutes later, saying she was fat. In response, she bit off his ear.
MAY I SEE YOUR BADGE, OFFICER?
An off-duty policeman in Balclutha, New Zealand, who sleeps in the nude, was in bed when he heard someone trying to steal his wife's car from their driveway in the middle of the night. He ran out of the house naked, chased the guy down and arrested him.
NOW THAT I THINK OF IT, IT DID SEEM LIKE IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE:
A college kid on spring break in Florida encountered two young ladies in a Panama City bar, and they suggested he follow them to the beach outside for some wild sex. Then they called four men who beat him up and stole his wallet.
YOU WANT SOME CRACK? CERTAINLY, WHY DON'T WE MEET?
When the driver of a car they pulled over in Lake Charles, La., couldn't produce a valid driver's license, police called the registered owner and left a message on her phone to determine whether the car had been stolen. But the woman apparently thought the message was from her drug dealer, and called the cop back and asked him if she could buy $150 worth of crack cocaine.
WHAT IS THIS, NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC TV!?
Twenty minutes after a religious program ended, a technician at a TV station in French Polynesia decided to use the company's equipment to watch a porn movie. Unfortunately, he made an error and broadcast the flick over the airwaves. Many telephone calls resulted.
THE DEAL IS OFF, LADY!
A man picked up a prostitute in Johannesburg, South Africa, and adjourned to his hotel room where he proceeded to rip off his clothes and encouraged her to do the same. When she refused, a tussle ensued during which the man realized his date had equipment that no woman possesses. Inspector Moses Maphakela, said, "Let's just say that, when he touched her, he realized he wasn't touching a woman."
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