2008 Woodie Awards
Through the Looking Glass
Mike Pingree- McClatchy-Tribune News
Issue date: 4/23/08 Section: Life
I THINK WE BOTH WANT WHAT'S BEST FOR THE BOY
A man got into a shouting match with his ex-girlfriend at the video store where she works in Commerce City, Calif., as they argued about how to raise their four-year-old son. The two belong to different street gangs, and they disagreed about which one the boy should join when he grows up.
RAMON!? DID YOU SAY RAMON!?
A 53-year-old man in Fort Pierce, Fla., was arrested for assaulting his girlfriend because she called out the name of her old boyfriend while they were having sex.
OK, THANK YOU FOR COMING IN:
A candidate interviewing for a job said he was fired from his last one because he beat up his boss.
MORE THAN ONE WAY TO DRUG A PATSY:
Prostitutes in Mexico City have been slipping knock-out drops in their clients' drinks and then stealing their wallets. One guy, who was aware of this, wouldn't let his drink out of his sight, but he wound up ingesting the drug anyway, because the hooker surreptitiously applied it to her nipples.
A NATURAL MISTAKE, BUT HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE OUTFIT?
A woman in Hillsboro, Ore., came out of her shower and into her bedroom to discover a man hiding in her closet dressed in a miniskirt, negligee, fishnet stockings and a long brown wig. At his trial, the man explained that a woman he had just met had invited him to the apartment complex to have sex. He said that he was high on methamphetamines and inadvertently went into the wrong apartment.
TELL ME THAT AGAIN MA'AM, YOU'RE WHERE?
When she couldn't get her key to open her driver's side door at a mall in Newington, N.H., a woman entered her car through the trunk and then tried to crawl over the seats but couldn't fit. Then the trunk slammed shut and she was stuck inside. She had to call the police on her cell phone to get her out.
NOT SO FAST, PAL:
A man, arrested on a traffic charge in Long Island, tried to pay his bail with a counterfeit $50 bill.
TALKING ABOUT? US? WHY, NOTHING, OFFICER
Two elderly California women, charged with taking out $2.8 million in insurance policies on homeless men and then killing them, were left alone in a police interrogation room. For some reason, they didn't think people in these rooms are videotaped even while the cops aren't there. Their conversation made it pretty clear they did it, as one accused the other of being "too greedy."
HE SURE KNOWS HOW TO HAVE A GOOD TIME:
A man in Plymouth, England, would appear to have been set for life after he won $10 million in the lottery. But he is broke after spending and squandering an average of $10,000 a day for three years.
A man got into a shouting match with his ex-girlfriend at the video store where she works in Commerce City, Calif., as they argued about how to raise their four-year-old son. The two belong to different street gangs, and they disagreed about which one the boy should join when he grows up.
RAMON!? DID YOU SAY RAMON!?
A 53-year-old man in Fort Pierce, Fla., was arrested for assaulting his girlfriend because she called out the name of her old boyfriend while they were having sex.
OK, THANK YOU FOR COMING IN:
A candidate interviewing for a job said he was fired from his last one because he beat up his boss.
MORE THAN ONE WAY TO DRUG A PATSY:
Prostitutes in Mexico City have been slipping knock-out drops in their clients' drinks and then stealing their wallets. One guy, who was aware of this, wouldn't let his drink out of his sight, but he wound up ingesting the drug anyway, because the hooker surreptitiously applied it to her nipples.
A NATURAL MISTAKE, BUT HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE OUTFIT?
A woman in Hillsboro, Ore., came out of her shower and into her bedroom to discover a man hiding in her closet dressed in a miniskirt, negligee, fishnet stockings and a long brown wig. At his trial, the man explained that a woman he had just met had invited him to the apartment complex to have sex. He said that he was high on methamphetamines and inadvertently went into the wrong apartment.
TELL ME THAT AGAIN MA'AM, YOU'RE WHERE?
When she couldn't get her key to open her driver's side door at a mall in Newington, N.H., a woman entered her car through the trunk and then tried to crawl over the seats but couldn't fit. Then the trunk slammed shut and she was stuck inside. She had to call the police on her cell phone to get her out.
NOT SO FAST, PAL:
A man, arrested on a traffic charge in Long Island, tried to pay his bail with a counterfeit $50 bill.
TALKING ABOUT? US? WHY, NOTHING, OFFICER
Two elderly California women, charged with taking out $2.8 million in insurance policies on homeless men and then killing them, were left alone in a police interrogation room. For some reason, they didn't think people in these rooms are videotaped even while the cops aren't there. Their conversation made it pretty clear they did it, as one accused the other of being "too greedy."
HE SURE KNOWS HOW TO HAVE A GOOD TIME:
A man in Plymouth, England, would appear to have been set for life after he won $10 million in the lottery. But he is broke after spending and squandering an average of $10,000 a day for three years.
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